Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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