walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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