I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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