Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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