Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
