my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
