Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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