just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
