I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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