she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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