party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
