I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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