Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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