yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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