I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
two words: eviction party
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize