Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ducksoup hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care

Fav 89 2322 3835
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

Fav 24 1504 8357
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."

Fav 2 5395 1184
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.

Fav 10 1186 3466
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

Fav 7 1009 1848
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

Fav 5 2700 816
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?

Fav 2 867 1436
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(386): View more from Florida

Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...

Fav 0 48 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.

Fav 0 32 52
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT