I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
