Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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