I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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