I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
