You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
