I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
