Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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