she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
