So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
