You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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