So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
