I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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