I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
