I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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