Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
