Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
