The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
