Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
