New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
