hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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