Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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