I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
