I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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