Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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