Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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