Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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