I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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