THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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