We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
