btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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