i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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