***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I lost the right to judge tonight
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
