I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
