sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
