There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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