she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize