They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
