is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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