week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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