Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
